Finally, a product that actually gives you what it is advertising! How many times have you been to the store, picked out a product that had an attractive person on it, and then discovered that the attractive person is missing from the box? She/he is not even mentioned in the assembly instructions… You got scammed! You turn the box over and search the inside; you take a look at the receipt and see in small print “No returns on products advertised with attractive people.” Basically you’re crushed. It’s a good thing that you have a nice high quality exercise machine or pair of headphones to stifle your misery. In spite of this marginal comfort, the fact remains that the product you purchased is trash -- completely useless. Your friends find you five days later curled up in a ball, clutching the package, the picture of the attractive person now faded by your tears.

Written by Ben Sperry