Review of Home Liposuction Kit

You’ve probably seen the commercials by now.  “Is regular exercise not working for you?”  “Are you tired of fat jokes made at your expense?!”  Fresh off the success of his Sweet 16 Rhinoplasty, Ben Sperry’s Home Liposuction Kit hit the market last November and has been an instant success.  We interviewed Home Liposuction Kit creator Ben Sperry about his new product.

 

Q. Where did you come up with the idea for the Home Liposuction Kit?

A.  Well, I wake up one day and my wife complains, "I can't fit into these jeans any more."  And I'm thinking, like any other guy, "Jeez, what am I supposed to say to that?"  She's all stressed because she's got this family reunion.  Later, I start wondering if there is any way that I could help my wife quickly lose some weight, and the idea just came to me.

Q. Are you worried that people may turn to traditional methods of losing weight like exercise and diet, rather than using your product?

A.  For the average person, exercise and diet do not work. There was a recent article in Time showing that exercise does not help a person to lose weight.  While certain dieting strategies can help weight loss in the short term, the Atkins diet for example, once the person gets off the diet, the weight returns.  It also takes months and months for the dieting to take effect.  While we don’t discourage exercise and diet, we believe our product is more sensible and has more immediate results.

Q.  There has been criticism that your product is more dangerous than an operation performed by a licensed doctor.

A.  First of all, our product is not dangerous.  The Home Liposuction Kit can easily be used by children as young as 12 in seven safe and simple steps:  first, apply the local anesthetic; second, attach the universal suck-o-matic nozzle to the HLSK’s motor; third, make the incision; and finally, suck, suck, suck away the fat forever.  We have a company joke that it’s so easy even Dad can do it.

One thing that was important for us was to make our product cost accessible to the average person.  The majority of the obese in this country cannot afford expensive medical procedures.  A doctor can charge thousands of dollars for one session, whereas our machine comes at the low price of $169.99* and can be re-used.

Q.  What are some other advantages to using the Home Liposuction Kit?

A.  We put several features into the product to help the weight impaired.  First, the unit is mobile, with a wheeled base, a long cord, and a remote control, so if you can’t move, it can move to you.  The Home Liposuction Kit will store easily next to your vacuum cleaner, because we have kept it small and compact.  The Home Liposuction Kit comes with a shell made with space age aluminum.  It contains a ten horsepower motor, guaranteed to suck the fat off even the largest cow.  In fact, I received a letter from a farmer recently that explained that he had literally used the Home Liposuction Kit on his livestock.  He said he used it on his organic beef to make them look more organic.

Q. Anything else you would like to add?

A.  The Home Liposuction Kit is great for many occasions:  job interviews, unexpected guests, failing relationships!  It could be a great Christmas present.  Not only am I the inventor and founder of the Home Liposuction Kit, I am also a customer.  We hope that you’ll add the Home Liposuction Kit to your family.


* Surcharges not included in price:  taxes, delivery, medical testing, FDA approval, unstocking fee, dry cleaning, chemical spillage, and triage fees.